Well it’s been busy and has been keeping my from posting as regularly as I have wanted to. At first it’s been bugging me, but I’ve always been the type of person that can justify not doing something due to other priorities (whether they were actually priorities or not). Not updating this blog fell into ‘not a priority’ in the past couple of month. But, it really wasn’t hurting anything except my pride and promise to myself.
Too many times we do this to ourselves… we put something aside even though it’s something that we must do. Usually something to benefit ourselves, others or our relationship with them. But what if by not doing something, we hurt ourselves and those around us? Wouldn’t you give more priority to what needs to be done?!
Tonight I learned a good friend that I had lost contact with over the years committed a horrific act that I will not recount here; although you could read about it in the news along with too many horrific acts committed by strangers everyday. Yet, to me, he’s not a stranger. He’s a person I went on countless mountain bike rides with, spent many hours eating drinking and enjoying life with. A person I called a friend and was proud to know.
What happened to lead him to this? I don’t know. I know that last we had seen each other, he had been in and out of tough places (figuratively) that life had been forcing them into. But how many of the dark and tough places he was in were due to his own making? I don’t know if he was suffering from any mental illnesses, but I’m sure I will find out in the days to come. Either way, mutual friends had reached out and offered help. But we are stubborn and don’t listen or take assistance when offered. Yet, at what point do you tell yourself that you need help or allow everyone that has been offing to help or saying you need to do so?
I can’t help but wonder, if he was able to realize that he needed help and did something about it and not put it off, would there have been a different outcome; a happier one?
Usually when those we cared about are gone, we can celebrate the good. Yet, my memories of him are now forever tarnished by the horrific acts he committed. All I can do is weep into my drink that I poured not in his memory, but of the lives shattered and the sadness that is now in all our hearts.
Is there a ‘take-away’? I don’t know. Maybe if there is one, it’s don’t be afraid to ask for or receive help. Is pride worth the damage that could be caused by not?